don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
