I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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