I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
