respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
this hospital has no fireball
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
