do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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