So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize