thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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