Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she pinky promised me she was 18
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
