i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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