if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He shit in the fireplace
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
