I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
