She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
