wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
