So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Never joke about your clitoris.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
