Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
