yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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