States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
