And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
