You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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