Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
