Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The best revenge is premature balding
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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