plz talk dirty to me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."