super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
