yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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