Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
