I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I will be naked everywhere
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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