What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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