she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
