I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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