she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
