just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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