I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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