idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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