I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
