So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
