he wants to bone in the snuggie
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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