I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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