your parents love me but you hate me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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