You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
