She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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