420 ftw
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
