very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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