was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize