it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just high enough for therapy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize