fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
