Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
