Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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