In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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