Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
its liver damage thursday
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
