I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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