So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
