and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
