sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
