I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
