Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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