apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
