so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
