dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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