grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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