her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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