when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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