Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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