I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
