She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
tell me about the fingering
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