you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
