Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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