I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
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i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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